"It is not up to me to decide how and when I die. But it is in my power to decide how to live". Story of marine Dianov

"I was not surprised that Misha joined the army. He had such an approach to work. He was looking for his place in the world. I understood that today he works here, and tomorrow he could change everything dramatically," says Mykhailo's colleague and friend Volodymyr Havryliuk.

They have known each other for 18 years. Once they worked together as sales agents of one of the Ternopil companies. And even when they parted ways, they kept in touch.

In recent years, Volodymyr has been treating his daughter abroad, she had leukemia. Dianov, he says, even called from the front: "Misha helped us a lot. He was constantly calling or writing, asking how we were. He said: 'I am fighting, you treat the child. Everyone has to do their job'."

Volodymyr says that Mykhailo changed many jobs: he was an administrator in Bukovel, in Chornobyl, a sales agent in Ternopil.

"From the outside it seemed that he felt comfortable in any job. But at some point he said that none of it was his thing," the colleague recalls.

And then one day he went to the army. No one expected it.

"He always, always wanted to make a career as a musician, namely a bass guitarist. I was shocked when I found out that he wanted to go to war. Because he had never had anything to do with the army. Misko was never inclined to that, because he is a creative person. And here he went not to write music, but to fight," recalls Ihor Shvedyk, Mykhailo's best friend.

Ihor has known Mykhailo since the late 1990s. They were united by music — back then Ihor also played the guitar.

"We used to go to the Ternopil City Rock Club, we were among its first members. It was underground, because there was still a semi-Soviet Union," he recalls.

Mykhailo during joint performances in early 2000s. Photo provided by Ihor Shvedyk

However, it turned out that there was much more of a soldier in Mykhailo than his friends saw. "He is a military man to the bone. Later, when he came on leave, he said that he never regretted joining the army," says Ihor.

Younger sister Alyona Lavrushko says that her brother changed a lot after the Revolution of Dignity and the beginning of the war: "Then he realized that he had to go. Because it will not end today or tomorrow. Everyone saw that it was dragging on."

Mykhailo went to the front as a volunteer, he said: "How can I sit at home and watch, twiddling my thumbs?" Although in everyday life he was absolutely no different from other men.

"I never thought that he would connect his life so closely with the army. Of course, if it were not for the events of late 2013 — early 2014, I would never have thought that he would go and consciously associate himself with the army for so many years. I was wrong," says Aliona.

Dianov told his family: "I am going there to make you feel safer here".

At first he joined the 79th Brigade, later became a marine of the 36th Brigade, served near Mariupol. There was a period when Mykhailo complained that he could not do it anymore and wanted to go home. But he would come on leave for a week and a half and then return to the hot spots.

Mykhailo Dianov. Facebook / Mykhailo Dianov

A real defender

Mykhailo is 42, he lives in Ternopil. He graduated from music school with a degree in piano, but his true musical passion is the guitar.

"At night you wake him up, give him a guitar — he will play," says his sister.

He is also fond of fishing and loves to read.

"He is a different, creative person. He is reserved, will never say too much, will never hurt someone on purpose. But if you attack him with evil, he will definitely fight back, will not let you hurt him or his loved ones. He is very well read, educated, has a perfect ear for music, which is cool," Ihor's friend says.

"I am fine, we are holding on"

In Ukraine, Mykhailo Dianov became famous after the publication of photos of Azovstal defenders, which were taken and posted online by Azov fighter "Orest", also known as Dmytro Kozatsky.

"When I saw my brother in the photo, the phone fell out of my hands," recalls Alyona.

It happened two days after the message from someone else's number that Mykhailo was alive. Until then, there had been no news about him for more than a month.

After February 24, Mykhailo tried to call or write every day: "alive", "+", "all good". Communication with him ended completely on March 5.

"On April 8, he called back to my husband, but did not say where he was and what was wrong with him. The next call was on April 14, first to my husband, then to me. Then we found out that he was at Azovstal. His voice was... I can't put it in words I thought the connection was so bad. But it was Mykhailo speaking on his last legs".

That day Mykhailo's family found out that he was wounded. He had bullet wounds in both legs, the bone of his right arm was crushed.

Mykhailo Dianov at Azovstal. Photo credit: Dmytro Kozatsky

"From 14 to 18 April there was still communication, a call or a message. April 18 was the last day when he was online. Even today I go into a conversation, look — and there is nothing. And on May 8, I received a message from someone else's number: 'Misha is fine, he is alive'".

Neither relatives nor friends knew where Mykhailo Dianov was until the recent exchange.

"He is tightly intertwined with my life. He sang songs at my wedding, was at the christening of my child. He is a very close person to me. It's not like I am bothered, but I am just very worried. And I'm waiting," adds Ihor's best friend.

On February 6, 2020, Mykhailo Dianov wrote a post on his Facebook page:

"I can die how and when I want — it's not up to me to decide. But it is in my power to decide how to live. Bravely or quietly. Here I am simply omnipotent. It is obvious. It's an axiom. If something bad happens in the world, you can do nothing, or you can do something. I have already tried nothing".

This text was written in August aspart of a special project “In a steel embrace” which collected 34 stories of different people brought together by Azovstal. All of these stories are about hope and struggle, and the desire for freedom and love for Ukraine.

Now Mykhailo Dianov is finally in Ukraine, he is one of 215 heroes who were released from Russian captivity on September 21.

/ By Lesya Pynyak